


My Mom

by Geoduck



Series: The Time In-Between [2]
Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Affection, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Nostalgia, Tears, Visiting Mom's Grave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-19 07:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geoduck/pseuds/Geoduck
Summary: For almost his whole life, Kyo regarded his mother with contempt. All of her words to him had been lies. The love she expressed for him was only pretense.It took only a few words from his biological father to make him realize the situation was far more complicated than that.





	1. Mom's Memory (Yuki)

**Author's Note:**

> There is a long gap between the last two chapters of the _Fruits Basket_ manga. Chapter 135 takes place in the summer, chapter 136 in the following spring.
> 
> So, thinking about things that might have happened in that time, I thought about Kyo reconciling himself to his mother's memory. And soon, this story appeared.
> 
> And actually the first chapter (of three) takes place a bit before that--on the night after Kyo confronted his biological parent.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

Kyo lay face down on his pillow. Although hours had passed, he couldn’t rest. It felt like his system was still full of adrenaline.

The terror, the sadness, the hate: he had felt those when he entered his father’s house.

He didn’t feel them any more. There was only a feeling of intense anxiousness instead.

He heard his bedroom door open. “Didja ever hear of knocking, you damn rat?” He turned over to see Yuki standing in his room.

Yuki shrugged. “Honda-san’s not here. It’s only men in the house right now, so I figured I didn’t have to ask if you were naked in here.”

Kyo snorted. A fight might be fun. It might take his mind off things. But he didn’t know if he had the strength to even stand up right now. “Whaddya want, Jerry?”

Yuki smiled slightly. “I heard about today, Tom.”

Kyo tensed. “ _What_ did you hear?”

Yuki sat down on the floor opposite him. “I heard you visited _that_ person.”

Kyo turned his eyes away from Yuki. He remained silent.

“I heard you told him you weren’t going to go in the cat’s room.”

“What of it?” Kyo asked quietly.

“Is it true?”

Kyo said nothing for several seconds, then finally, “Yes.”

“ _All_ of it?”

“All of it.” Kyo put his face back in his pillow.

“Then…” Yuki paused. “That was well done.”

“What…” Kyo rolled over to look at Yuki again. “What do you mean?”

“You told him you wouldn’t let him hurt you anymore. You told him you wouldn’t let the family hurt you anymore. You were brave.”

Kyo’s face was feeling hot. “I wasn’t. I was barely able to tell him that. I was really scared. When I left, I puked all over the sidewalk.”

“I heard about that, too. Congratulations on your first public vomit. And you didn’t even need alcohol to make it happen.”

Despite himself, Kyo chuckled.

“But it _was_ brave. You said all that despite being scared. That’s almost the definition of bravery. If Honda-san were here right now… If she were here, you know she’d say the same thing.”

“This feels… strange. To hear all this from you.”

Yuki shrugged. “Fair is fair. I was pretty rough on you before. When you do something well, you _should_ get praise. Tough love. That’s how you can get a stupid cat to learn.”

“Yeah, sure. Go to hell, you damn rat.”

Yuki sat in silence for a moment. He was about to stand up when Kyo spoke again.

“Hey… can I tell you something?”

“If it’s about how much you miss Honda-san, I’ll pass.”

“It’s about my mom.”

There was a long silence. “What did you want to say?”

“You know how my mom died, right? You’ve heard about what she said.”

“...yes.”

“My whole life, I… I thought she did it because she was ashamed of me. I thought that being the cat, that being the monster… That she couldn’t take it. That she wished she had been your mother instead of mine. She had told me that she loved me, but after that, I could never believe it.”

“But, when that guy was yelling at me today, he said something. I feel like I understand everything now. She wasn’t ashamed of me. She never was. She was only ever ashamed of herself. That she thought that the curse was her fault.  That she thought it was because of her that I suffered. She thought it was because of her that _that_ guy hated me. She thought it was her fault that he hated both of us.”

Kyo’s voice quavered. “She thought that she needed to _die_ to protect me. She thought that if she died, that he wouldn’t hate me anymore.”

He paused a moment to compose himself. He turned away from Yuki again. “That asshole. That _person_. He only said one true thing his whole damn life. When she died, he told me that my mother had loved me. He was right, just for the wrong reasons. He was just trying to hurt me. And it did hurt me. But it was true. It was all true. She… she loved me.”

He shut his eyes and started shaking involuntarily. “She must have felt so alone.” Tears started leaking from his closed eyes. He jerked when he felt a touch. Softly, Yuki ran a hand up and down Kyo’s back.

“I’m sure…” Yuki coughed and cleared his throat. “I’m sure that if she could see you now… she’d feel peaceful.”

Kyo faced him again and smiled softly. “Thank you. And… I haven’t said thank you for helping to save Tohru.”

Yuki’s face grew sour. “You _massive_ idiot. I don’t want to be thanked for getting an ambulance.”

Kyo got up into a kneeling position. “No, not that. I mean, with the hat. Back then. You helped her when I couldn’t find her. Thank you.” He bowed to Yuki.

Yuki’s expression changed to a small smile. He reached over with a hand and flicked Kyo in the forehead. “You’re welcome.”

“Ow! The hell? You are _such_ a dick sometimes.”

Yuki’s smile grew. “I take that as a compliment. Stupid cat.”


	2. Mom's Legacy (Kazuma)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kyo plans for a future he previously never thought possible, his Shishou helps take care of his future, present, and past.

Kyo didn’t need to tell Shishou about confronting his father. Shishou had already heard.

Kyo didn’t know how. Likely he heard from the same grapevine that Yuki had. Or he may have heard it from Akito personally.

When Kyo came over, Shishou didn’t ask questions or demand details. He only smiled and said he was proud of Kyo for freely choosing to live.

And now that Kyo had accepted that he _had_ a future… maybe it was time to start discussing what _kind_ of future he’d like to have?

They talked long into the night.

It did not take Kyo many days of careful consideration to decide that he wanted to be an instructor like his Shishou. Shishou accepted that with a smile. There was a time when he feared his son’s temperament might not be suited to training others in the art. But now? He was certain there were no limits to what Kyo might be able to become.

There were details to be worked out. At first Kyo thought his Shishou would expect him to apprentice with him. He wasn’t certain he wanted that. To his relief, he found out his Shishou was of a similar opinion: that he should seek training elsewhere, to learn things that Shishou could not teach him.

He contacted several of his colleagues to find a fitting master for his son’s apprenticeship. He narrowed potential dojos for Kyo down to two, and let his son make the final decision on where he was going to go. After several phone calls by Kyo to get to know his prospective teacher and boss for the next few years, he made the decision, and agreed to begin his training in April.

Shishou never pushed Kyo on what he should do about his relationship with Tohru. Instead, Kyo came to him to ask if he thought it was a good idea to ask her to go away with him. Shishou chuckled slightly, noting that as a bachelor of over forty years, he might not be the best person to talk to when it came to long-term relationships. But, more seriously, he told his son that openness was likely the best policy.

Later, when Kyo called him to tell him that Tohru had agreed to move with him, he could hear the smile in his voice. Frankly, he found it hard not to smile himself.

Kyo’s future--at least his immediate future--had been decided upon. There was still one thread that needed to be attended to, however, and it was one that Shishou decided to handle entirely on his own.

* * *

When Shishou had said there was something he wanted to tell him, he wasn’t expecting a bombshell: “Yesterday, I had a fruitful discussion with your father.”

Kyo was stunned to hear that. Shishou and… _that_ person? What possible reason… “You.. didn’t need to do that. I actually... kind of wish you hadn’t. When I talked with him, that guy was hopeless. Maybe he can find his way out someday, but you don’t have to be the one to help him. Or me, either. If he ever wanted to reach out to me, I’d consider it, but…”

Shishou chuckled “Trust me, trying to engineer some kind of reconciliation between the two of you would be out of the question. The kind of penance he’d need to go through before I would allow him in any part in your life--but listen to me, talking as if you were a child. You’ll be on your own as an adult very soon. And I do trust your judgement to associate with whoever you want to.”

“But no, this has nothing to do with that. I visited him because I thought it was time for me to retrieve some property that by all rights belongs to you.”

“Property? I was only four or five when I lived there last. All I had were some clothes and some toys. It’s probably all gone by now.”

“By 'property', I mean things that were your mother’s. And now that you’re so close to being on your own, they are yours.”

He lifted a carton Kyo hadn’t noticed earlier and placed it on the table. He reached into the carton and pulled out four hardbound journals. “These are your mother’s diaries. They start in middle school and go up to adulthood. Regrettably, some pages have been torn out of the later volumes, but still, they should provide a look into her personal life that may help you get to know the woman she was.”

He handed the books over to Kyo, who received them with awe. He opened one of them, and ran his fingers down the page. "This is her handwriting..."

Next, he pulled out several binders. “Her photo albums. There are pictures here covering the whole span of her life. I expect that Tohru will be quite happy to see so many childhood photos of you?”

Kyo covered his eyes. “Oh no. She’s going to be squealing about this for days.” He did smile softly at this, however--Tohru's squealing was _incredibly_ adorable.

“There were a few personal effects. Her clothing was almost all gone, but--" He placed another, smaller box on the table and opened it. "--there was still a kimono.”

Kyo sucked in a breath as he touched the fabric of the precious garment. “I’d prefer not to take it out--women’s kimonos are a bit more complicated to fold than the ones I wear. I expect Tohru will know how. Perhaps it will even fit her?” He pulled a small lacquered box from the first carton. “Her jewelry. Nothing of great monetary value, but I think you’ll get pleasure from having them.” He opened the box and pulled out a ring, which he handed to Kyo. “Oh, and her wedding band.”

Kyo looked at the small golden ring in his palm. He could only shake his head in wonder. “There’s so much. I’m amazed you could get all this.”

His Shishou smiled. From underneath the table, he pulled a case for a large musical instrument. “Did you know your mother played acoustic guitar?”

Quietly, Kyo opened the case and ran his fingers along the guitar. “Yeah. I know. I sort of remember this. She would sing sometimes. And I think she might have played while she sang. This is amazing. How were you able to get all this?”

A certain glint came into Shishou’s eye. “I convinced your father through... rational argument.”

Kyo smiled. “I think I would have liked to have seen it.”

“I think you would have. So that’s it for personal effects. What is left is the least sentimental item, but possibly the most useful.” He slid a folded piece of paper over to Kyo, who picked it up and looked at it.

“I... I don’t think I understand this.”

“It’s a report of a bank account balance. You’ll notice a deposit that was made today on it.”

Kyo looked again at the paper, his eyebrows raised. “Shishou… that’s a lot of money.”

“It is. But you deserve it. All of it.”

“It’s...Is it from him? I’m not sure I want any money of his. I mean, that’s amazing that you did that for me, but it feels like he’s trying to bribe my forgiveness. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong. How the hell…”

“It’s child support money. Thirteen years’ worth. Plus whatever interest would have accrued on that money. This was money you were due.”

“But you were the one supporting me. You should be getting this money, Shishou, not me.”

“If that is so, then I choose to spend it as I see fit.”

“Oh wow.” His eyes were drawn to the sum again. “Wow.”

They sat there in silence for a minute.

“Shishou? I’ll accept this money, but not yet. I feel like I don’t want to have it available to me right now. Like it would be too big of a temptation. I feel like I--like _we_ \--need to be on our own, at least for a while. Maybe once we’ve had some more experience, maybe then would be a better time to have this.”

“If that's your decision, I will honor it. I’ll hold on to it for now. Perhaps when you and Tohru are ready to buy a house of your own, that money might serve as a good down payment?”

Kyo had a far-away expression in his eyes. Shishou could tell he was imagining that day. A day he once thought would be impossible, but now seemed very real.

“Shishou?”

“Yes?”

"Thank you for all this. I never dreamed that I could make Mom part of my life again. You... you brought her back for me. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. But the one who made her part of your life again was you. I always knew you had a compassionate heart. And now you know it, too."

They sat in silence as Kyo looked at the books and photos and other possessions that made up his mother's legacy.

"Shishou?"

"Yes?"

“I think I might want to learn to play the guitar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the inspirations for this was an extra illustration Takaya drew for the next-to-last volume. Where Kazuma comes to talk with Kyo's biological parent about his son's future, and is being _incredibly_ intimidating. Even Akito is looking on with an expression of "damn, son." (And perhaps... 'In retrospect, I'm very glad I didn't confine Kyo. I'm not sure I could have confronted **that**.')


	3. Mom's Spirit (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo decides to visit his mother's resting place. He has so much to tell her. And someone special he wants to introduce to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part. I've long wanted to do a multi-part story where I released a new chapter every day, but I've never been able to write enough on a a day-to-day basis to make that a viable plan. But I've had some changes in lifestyle and suddenly I'm writing more than I ever had (since college, anyway). I hope you enjoy.

She heard him enter the kitchen as she was chopping carrots. Even without seeing, she knew it was him. She recognized the sound of his gait.

So, she was unsurprised when his arms went around her waist and he hugged her from behind. “I’m back.”

“Welcome home.” She leaned her head back for a brief kiss. “How was training?”

“Tiring. Shishou is really letting me have it these days. Guess he wants to toughen me up before we go. My teacher there will probably be tough on me, too.” He hugged her more tightly. “I should probably let you go. I stink.”

“I love it when you hold me. And I think your smell is wonderful.”

“You’re biased.”

“Probably.” Having finished the carrots, she swivelled in his arms and hugged him back, resting the side of her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating.

“Hey Tohru? Can you go with me somewhere this Sunday?”

“Of course.” She leaned back and looked up at him. “Where do you want to go?”

“So, I haven’t actually been there since I was a kid. And I should have probably have gone there for Obon. But I want to visit my mother’s grave. I’d like to go there with you.”

Tohru’s eyes watered. “Oh, Kyo-kun. Of **course** I will go. I would be **honored** to greet your mother.”

Kyo smiled and wiped her tears. “Thanks. It means a lot to me. I’m not sure how I’ll react when I get there, but I might get a bit emotional.”

“Oh. I suppose then, you wouldn’t want anyone else to come. I had thought it might be nice to invite… but maybe it’s better for just us two.”

“Yeah.” He thought a moment. “Actually, you know? I wouldn’t mind if those two friends of yours came. Hell, invite Yuki if you like. Or someone else you really want to come. You know, within reason. But I’d like us to get there first, so we can have some private time with her.”

She smiled at him. “Of course. Thank you.”

* * *

In the end, Tohru had invited Hanajima, Uotani, Yuki, and Akito. Shigure declined, citing a writing deadline he needed to meet. And to Kyo’s surprise, Kazuma had declined as well, stating that for Kyo’s first visit to his mother in many years that he shouldn’t bring his foster father along.

Kyo had mixed feelings about that. He would have liked his Shishou to be there, but on the other hand, the less time Hanajima spent around him, the better.

As Kyo’s hands were full, Tohru held the map showing the exact location of her grave. The others would be arriving in a half-hour. Plenty of time for the two of them to make the grave tidy, and to offer their private respects. “Yes, we’re on the correct path now. It should be about halfway to the crossing, on the left-hand side. Oh, Kyo-kun, I think that’s it, just over there!”

He looked at it. “Yeah, I think that’s it. It feels vaguely familiar.” Kyo cocked his head as he examined the marker more closely. “Huh.”

“What is it, Kyo-kun?”

“It’s just that it’s better taken care of than I would have expected. It won’t take long at all to clean.” He set down both the bucket and the bag he was carrying. “If you want to get the weeds, I’ll clean the marker.”

“Yes!” Tohru set down her bag, then pulled a pair of work gloves and a plastic bag out of it. After putting the gloves on, she pulled the few weeds and put them in the bag, while Kyo was scrubbing the grave with a brush he occasionally poured water on.

“I wonder if it was Shishou-san who took care of the grave?”

“Probably. Or maybe she has some relatives or friends who come by. I know it definitely can’t be _that_ person.”

“I am certain it was Shishou-san. Taking care of you when you did not even know about it.”

They continued in silence. After pulling all the weeds, Tohru disposed of the wilted flowers and burnt-out sticks of incense. She picked up a second brush and joined Kyo in cleaning the marker. After a few minutes, they finished. Wordlessly, they put their brushes away, and Tohru took her gloves off.

He retrieved the bouquet of dahlias from his bag and placed it in the vase in front of the marker. He wasn’t certain if dahlias were her favorite flower, but he had seen a picture of her in one of her albums holding a dahlia blossom. Her favorite food, however, he did know. She mentioned going eating taiyaki several times--at least in her middle school diary. Tohru handed him the container of pastries, and he placed it next to the flowers. Finally, she handed him several incense sticks and a box of matches. He placed the sticks in the holders to each side of the grave, then lit them. Putting the matches away, he turned back for the bucket. Using the dipper, he poured water on top of the marker.

“Kyo-kun?”

He looked at her and saw her holding her hand out. He handed her the dipper. She scooped a cupful of water and poured it over the marker as well. She handed back the dipper and he smiled in thanks.

He set the bucket down behind him, and they both put their hands together in prayer. They stood silently for a few moments. Then Kyo began speaking quietly.

“Mom? I’m sorry I didn’t come before. They told me stories that… but never mind that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own that I never came. I hope you can forgive me.”

“The curse has been broken. I’m not the cat anymore. I don’t need to wear the beads.”

“But… Even though it was terrible... Even though it did so much harm to you, to me, to others… I don’t want to forget about the curse. Because then it would be like I was forgetting about all of the sacrifices. Like the priest whose bones made the beads. Like Shishou’s grandfather, who never lashed out and who always tried to be kind. Like you. The way you always protected me.”

“Anyway, with the curse breaking, that means that I can live ‘outside’. It means that I can do what I want. And I’m going to go away from here. I’m sorry if that makes me an ungrateful son.”

“Mom, I’ve met someone. Someone I want to be with. This is Tohru Honda.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “When I go away, I’m going to be with her. I want to stay together with her. Always. When I… when I was in a dark hole, she was the one who showed me the way out. She always believed in me. Even when I wasn’t deserving.”

Tohru gasped. “Kyo-kun, you… ma’am, I’m sorry for interrupting, but he’s not telling it right. _He_ was the one who always believed in _me._ _I_ was the one who wasn’t deserving, not him. And I cannot believe my good fortune that this unworthy one is allowed to stay with your wonderful son.”

He looked down at Tohru, smiling, with tears in his eyes. He looked back over to the marker. “I really love her, Mom. I hope you approve of her. I’m sure you do. She’s helping me to be happy. And I am, now. I’m happy and I’m safe.” He bowed. “Thank you.”

Tohru touched Kyo’s arm. “Ma’am, thank you for giving birth to Kyo-kun. Thank you for raising him and protecting him. I think you must be very proud of him. I know you are. I _know_ you are. I promise I will take care of him. I will protect him. I may not always succeed, but I will always try. And I will love him forever.” She bowed as well.

She took his hand, and they interlocked their fingers.

They stood in quiet devotion.

* * *

After a few minutes passed, they prepared for the arrival of their friends. Tohru wiped her tears away with a tissue, and passed another one to a gratefully smiling Kyo, who wiped some tears from his own face.

As the five came into view at the end of the path, Tohru waved at them.

Their moment of privacy nearly over, Tohru spoke quietly to him. “Kyo-kun, do you remember when you asked me about my father?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you got me to think about him more. I feel like I am closer to him than I was before. And I hope you now feel closer to your mother.”

“Yeah. I really do. She's a part of my life again. And I want to be the kind of son she can be proud of."

'I'm certain you already are', Tohru thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMAKE:
> 
> Hanajima addressed the marker. "Mrs. Sohma, when I become Kyo's mother, I promise to watch over him as carefully as you would have."
> 
> Kyo grimaced and muttered. "Shishou can make his own decisions. Shishou can do whatever he wants to with his life. But please, please Shishou. Just not her."


End file.
